Distance..

Is the most common thing in my marriage..no really emotional distance but physical distance. My husband is gone a little over half the year, not all at once but total probably about that much. When he is here, finally, I have this really bad habit of pushing him away..this time emotional. Mind you my husband isn't exactly what you would consider in tune with his emotions anyway. Being gone as much as he is the phone becomes our haven..and that even can be dry and almost feel like I am talking to my long last grandma. I try to spark conversations about whatever interest me but what I've come to realize is...he isn't interested. Being his wife I put on the "un-huh" front when he talks about his day, because I think as a wife or husband you should do that to entertain your partner if nothing else. I see my friends who have the same haven as myself and my husband have..the phone...but they are bubbly and cute! I'm almost jealous..but what I find it sparks in me the most is anger. I start to feel my self-worth drifting into a distant hole I once dug in high school during my melodramatic era. I know it probably has nothing to do with me, but I've heard him on the phone with his friends...total crowd pleaser going on! Oddly enough we have TONS in common, in addition to our two kids. Enjoying the typical Saturday football game is something we both look forward to every week in the fall...then cooking dinner in the same kitchen is a true testament to how much we are alike. Maybe we are lacking true intimacy....but then again how do you get that to begin with? Sharing a life, a house, a family, and much more....does that count for something or just make you roommates?